chokamono

Bleah.

2005-02-27T22:29:45Z

Yeah so this weekend was kind of iffy, friday was good though. I went to this lockin at the highschool and got to play the guitar with some really cool freshmen, also got my shot at this double bass action on a yamaha set. When I play the guitar, I go nuts...one of my best friends. Chris's band wasn't so great...but ya know what are ya gonna do he had no prior experience in shows.

Saturday was kind of dull, me and steve and phil hung out and we just went to Taco Bell then went back to his house. Steve's sister is odd, and still kind of intigues me. She has a way of getting under your skin and making you wonder what's going on in her head. We watched Super troopers and sometimes the only thing that would go through my mind would be "Jeeze, I wish I could kiss her." Or "Man, I wonder what it would be like if we were dating.." Not necessarily because I like her, but just because she has this aura around her that makes you wonder things like that (Mind you i've known her for around 6 years.)

But anyway, i'm not feeling too well...I hope i'm not comming down with that stupid flu again, that was awful. Tomorrow I have to go to school and hopefully make up work and whatever else I need to do. Life seems kind of tough right now, but a lot of people have it worse, i'm sure.

Phil bugs me with his insulent way of totally ignoring everybody else and focussing completley on steve's sister. I'm in no way shape or form jealous, just angry that he goes nuts over somthing he'll never had. If only he knew what she told me...about how he was a crappy kisser and how she'd never kiss him again, HAH! man would that ever crush his world. Alright enough of my being a dick, let's just say for a second that they DO go out, where would that leave mine and phil's friendship? I'd picture it in the dust somewhere splattered never to be looked at again because he wouldn't even look back to say goodbye.

Well hope to update sometime soon, later.

Hello

2005-02-24T04:20:11Z

Ahh yes, evening...my favorite time of day. What's gone on today? Not anything in particular worth mentioning...Basically I didn't wake up for school because I didn't feel like going. Sad excuse but what are you gonna do. I woke up at around 11:20 and took a shower and headed off to skill center.

Skill center was quite uneventful, except for this weird creepy girl asking to see my wang. Her name is sarah, she's the only girl in our class...kind of weird how she kept referring to it and turning everything I said into a sexual comment. I laugh whole heartidly at it now, but at the moment it was weird. After I got out of skill center I went back to the high school where I waited for phil and steve. We ventured out to guitar center (About my 8th time being there since it opened) and checked out the stuff. Steve said he wants to get a drumset, but really who can be partially involved in music at such a crucial stage of life? He's moving into bigger and better things and needs to focus on school and money.

Anyway, after that I came home to my family who of course was the same as they always are. My mother was trying to get me to do some school work on this internet course thing, which I see in time I will get done and don't really feel the rush on it. My dad was all light today and seemed as if he really had some compassion for once, he was a nice feeling to actually have a conversation with him. After a while of sitting on the computer I can finally say that i'm not tired because of the damn naps I take every day...I really need to stop sleeping so much...I'm sleeping my life away.

Well, people signed up for the talent show like I had hoped. I just hope I can do well enough to maybe show some people what music really is. I'm hoping to perform a song of my own, but the likliness of that is slim since I can't sing...Well let's hope for the best, later biatches.

errghh....

2005-02-23T00:41:45Z

Well today my power supply in my computer went out, HOW EXCITING!!! Alright now that we're passed the sarcasim you can see that it severly angered me. I needed to for one get done with my online classes and for two finish reading that arpeggio article...But now i'm on this computer and the keyboard sucks, but atleast it has internet and AIM.

Today at school was pretty boring, having to listen to the phil and holly saga is running on my mind latley...seriously why doesn't he just leave her? She's just treating him as her "weekday boyfriend" or some crap. Steve seemed pretty happy today, guess anyone would if they were hooking up with a supposide "Hot girl with big boobs." But besides that I was reading an article by one of my favorite guitarists Rusty Cooley in first hour today and there was a quote from him at the bottom of his bios page, it goes as read:

“Remember to live, eat, sleep and breathe music for the mind, play from your heart and never be swayed by the current trends.” Rusty Cooley

It's things like this that make me wanna quit life and just try to make music forever...but such things can only be dreamed of I guess. Despite not having much anguish today I can reassure myself that maybe I infact do have some sort of future in music. And even if I don't, I love music...I want to study it more in depth...I want to pressure it into my soul and take myself to the limits.

What a breeze...

2005-02-21T06:04:07Z

Yeah so ed talked me into finally doing one of these...Well here's what i'm feeling in a nutshell.

I hate myself for smoking, but need a way to deal with my everyday problems with my mom. Ehh that's a fuckin lie, I do it because i'm addicted. I need to quit though because i'll start running again soon and need to be in somewhat decent shape without tar in my lungs. Who's too say i'll even start running again, what's the point? I always fuck up shit with girls anyway...the only girl I ever really liked was the one girl that didn't ever get serious with me.

Now really, thinking about tonight i'm sort of boggled. I go into church every week and hear the same ol' shit. Tonight it was a little inspiring...knowing that there was still so much of that feeling called "love" around...but no different from any other weekend I guess. I got drunk at steves a few nights ago then stumbled home, wow what fun that was...

The only light I have in my room is the lamp next to me, so i'm kind of halfassing this thing because I can't really see anything i'm typing. I need to change the lights in my room..but I guess my way of looking at that is the same way I look at everything else "Someone else will do it." Now who the hell ever thought it would be cool to sit on their ass and do nothing with their life? Well I must not be the first since the world is in the shape it's in.

On a lighter note chad thought he was going to die since he couldn't get cable at his new house. I hope he doesn't decide to become a full blown "hippie" like he was threatening to...but who can stop him really? He's his own man. Heh, listen to me i'm trying to reason with myself, when did I grow up so fast? I honestly don't know...